can the internet be personal again
april is the beginning of feral summer. i feel it in the air. this is molly on the rooftop at 5am energy. sweaty in a bar with strangers. let's bring back 2016 frank ocean just released blonde, mac just gave us a bible to fucking energy.
while i promised myself to relax after my last job, april ultimately served the end to a 4 month long (slightly traumatic) interview process for a job i didn't even really want but then happened to attach my entire identity to during the process. i really spent all of march thinking if i don't get this job i will die.
but in this age of capitalism, who really can blame anyone? jobs mean security. jobs give you a stage to perform 'goodness'. act your way into your worth. and on the most honest level, jobs provide security which then translate to safety. and safety allows you to afford a slightly longer runway to be yourself.
that could mean rabbit hole'ing into your interests (metal-smithing is very expensive), afford your multiple gym memberships, afford weekly therapy (shout out to my therapist), buying multiple versions of winter heptagon because you want to get jay b's photo card (i did not). but it's these big and little things that make you feel alive.
makes you feel like you.
a few things on my mind lately:
My friend Devin and I started going to coffee shops every friday just to chill, look hot, and yap. My personal favorite place right now is Archives of Us in Chinatown. We brainstorm a lot with minimal execution. We like it that way. It's more fun thinking about the wildest ideas and building the wildest possible outcome.1
My other friend Peter and I also love to yap and we both agree that there's not enough yearning in music these days. What happened to scheming on another man's woman because you KNOW you're the better man for her (see examples: 1, 2). Petition to bring back yearning and toxicity.
i miss the art of creative writing and i hate the monetization of creative writing. i'm sick of your substack that i feel bad not paying for. because you know what, your words matter and i want you to afford to live. but what happened to writing simply because you need to get it off your chest. like the desperation of needing to share, even if it's just to one person. someone who will read it and be like wow this bitch gets me.
maybe related but what happened to sauce in general. impersonal correspondence, impersonal products, ai writing for an ai answer, and for what? to give us impersonal personalized things to sell more ads. generative ai but unable to generate anything actually interesting. ps do you know who has sauce? the lady who wore a beige blazer set to west la solidcore last week and 2002 Cam'ron.
shout out photoism. i didn't realize photobooth technology has come so far. i have this photostrip i took with "yugyeom" and someone asked me if that was my husband. i mean, ok what if it is? (my boyfriend very sweetly helped me practice for posing. an angel.)
For example, I've paid for huluondisney.com for the last decade nearly. For what reason, I don't know. Actually I do know. I love a low-level scam and I was once hoping to scam Disney to fork over millions? Anyways, our current idea is to make stop motion Bob Iger porn, host it on the site, and then maybe legal will notice me. Stop motion is a very tedious process and I will not be doing that by the way.↩